


♦ And It Makes Me Miss You

by EvelynLawliet



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotionally Compromised, Emotionally Repressed, Hurt, Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 01:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4372226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvelynLawliet/pseuds/EvelynLawliet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Well...I was watching a Lawlight video and I couldn't help myself. This is placed just before Near and Mello first approach Light in the anime. Hope you all like it!</p>
    </blockquote>





	♦ And It Makes Me Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> Well...I was watching a Lawlight video and I couldn't help myself. This is placed just before Near and Mello first approach Light in the anime. Hope you all like it!

I still miss you.

And I hate it. It has been too long, why do I still miss you? It doesn’t make any sense, whatsoever. I’ve lost track of time since that day, but I know years have already passed.

So why won’t this go away? It’s nothing but a bother. Because it’s not the memory I’m supposed to keep of you. Or perhaps it is, yet how I feel about it isn’t, I don’t really know. How is it possible that you still confuse me even now?

I hate you. I loathe you. I wish I had never met you. I’m glad that you’re gone. I love the fact that, even if only indirectly, I was the one who arranged it. You’re gone because of me, and nothing could ever satisfy me more. I despise you. I resent you. I abominate you.

I miss you.

Why do I miss you? You were always but a nuisance. From the beginning my main goal was to get rid of you. And I did it. It was amazing to see you going, to watch as you left my world forever; thrilling even.

Yet, the world also became...Dull, without you. Nothing challenges me anymore. They try, of course. Every now and then some stupid, resentful minor character tries getting in my way. But I got rid of you, so why wouldn’t I easily get rid of them?

This is your fault. It’s all your fault. Why did you have to come and mess with my mind like this? If you had only just been gone from the start, I’d be much happier now. You made me miserable, and I’ll never forgive you for that.

Miserable...Is that really how I’m feeling? I don’t understand it...It’s not supposed to be this way! I’m supposed to feel glorious, invincible! And I do, somehow, but I also feel...Empty.

You took everything away with you, and you left me with nothing. Nothing but what I crafted for myself. It has always been this way; I was alone in the beginning, and I’m alone again. Why should it matter that for a small while I finally had someone who understood me?

Well...Not completely. You could never truly understand the way I thought, otherwise you wouldn’t be gone; I would never have let go of you.

We would have made a good team, don’t you think? Our minds combined...We would’ve been unstoppable. Just you and me against the world. I still think about it every now and then.

And it makes me miss you.

I miss your voice. It annoyed me, so much. There were times when I wished I could personally slit your throat, only so I’d never have to hear it again, the gentle rumble that never failed to make me freeze.

I miss your eyes. That stare was suffocating, especially when you focused on me. It was like the world stopped spinning. For those few moments, we were the only ones breathing. I felt like tearing your orbits from their sockets.

I miss your habits. They used to make me want to press a pillow to your face during the nights we slept together, and feel you thrash against my body and hands, until you ceased doing so, forever.

I miss your lips. Dry, thin, and definitely not inviting. Still, somehow, I felt the urge to taste them. Would they really be as sweet as I imagined? Perhaps I could bite down on them, and tear them from your face. Then I’d never have to hear you speak again.

I miss the handcuffs. Often times I catch myself staring at my left wrist, sure that I’ll find the metal dangling from it. But there’s nothing. Just like everything else, it’s always empty; free. It was strange to realize I never wanted freedom.

I miss your mind. So much like mine, and yet so different. You were the only one who always knew what I was thinking. Even in the end, you knew. I remember you telling me that; telling me that it would be lonely.

How long had you known? Why didn’t you stop me? If you knew it was me, that whole time, why didn’t you do anything?! Why did you simply let me do away with you?!

You wanted this, didn’t you? You planned it, and now you’re watching me from somewhere else. You’re watching as I succumb into the void that you left me with. That’s your legacy! To destroy everything in your way!

And then you call  _me_  a criminal. You were always worse than me. Evil? Me? I was never evil! We both knew I had just and rightful purposes. What about you? What did you gain from letting me go?

Torture me. That’s what you have always done. From the very start you played me, and you made me a fool! How could I ever fall into your claws? How could I let you rip me apart?!

I won! I am victorious! You are gone and no one will ever remember you! No one will ever miss you!

_No one..._

_No one..._

No one, but me.

I remember you.

I miss you.

Yours always,

Light.

**Author's Note:**

> Work also posted to my tumblr: evelynlawliet.tumblr.com . c:


End file.
